Explosion

I should have be prepared for this explosion,

It is something that you can't avoid,

When you are getting over the boundary,

Perhaps, this bomb is like a tilt fuse or a mercury tilt switch,

A force of jerk causes the tilt fuse to tilt more,

And the mercury will slide down,

Closing the electric circuit on the other end of the tube,

Detonating the bomb.

Now, tears act as the fire extinguisher,

Putting out the fire,

Incompletely...

When I search among the debris after the explosion,

I realized that only LOVE survive,

Enduring the small but painful wound,

Feeling of missing him is badly injured,

So does the confident we had...

Luckily, they do survive.

Helping to rebuild everything,

Hope that there will not be such an explosion,

Triggered by some tiny issues anymore

Though its 100% impossible.

Anyway, sorry for tilting the fuse.

我的心也在隐隐作痛着。。。

FYI...

Mercury switches consist of one or more sets of electrical contacts in a sealed glass envelope which contains a bead of mercury. The envelope may also contain air, an inert gas, or a vacuum. Gravity is constantly pulling the drop of mercury to the lowest point in the envelope. When the switch is tilted in the appropriate direction, the mercury touches a set of contacts, thus completing the electrical circuit through those contacts. Tilting the switch the opposite direction causes the mercury to move away from that set of contacts, thus breaking that circuit. (Wikipedia)

I Am Confused

I don't know how to describe my feelings now. Nervous? Down? Fear? Fed up? Disappointed? Regretting? I don't know. It's confusing. I can't sort it out and I can't find the source. Maybe there are too many sources...

I am unable to control my temper and the mood is always oscillating between two extremities, just like the whether. It can be a super hot day at this moment and changes into a heavy storm the next second.

Everyone is busy with exams now so just leave them alone and disturb them with my problems after exam. Just focus on exam now and think about all those complicated things later.

I guess I am just tired, mentally and physically.

I did it again

I seriously don't know what is wrong with me. When I care for some1, I just want them to follow my way to manage time. I do not like to waste my time and so, I can't stand when I see the people whom I love wasting their time.

I had once irritated some1 I love by controlling him/her too much. I try to get him/her to follow my style and be more serious in studies. I just do not know that this will actually made some1 got mad and tried even harder to go against me.

I tried my best not to comment on others' lifestyle and the way they use to study. I tried to ignore when I see them slacking and doing last minute work or revision. At most, I will just try to advise and not being too harsh.

Too bad, I repeated that mistake again. I am just pathetic. I should not have scolded him/her. It's their habit and if they are fine with it, why do I need to be so kpc and interrupt their lifestyle? But I just beh tahan. They have the brains and just wasted it; they have the time and again, they just let it flow away. GOSH...

Anyway, words said cannot be taken back and I do not want to take it back also, so I can only say SORRY for being soooooo harsh. I will not do that again. Though I feel that a barrier is being build between us now, nothing can be done. My EQ is just too low. Just hope that I wont cross the border line again.

Miserable

I’d been very down these 2 days. I found out something and some other things happened. My ‘ability’ of thinking too much ‘contributed’ to my feelings too. I just felt unsecure and was wondering whether the same thing will happen to me. The super perfect timing is one of the reasons that make me think and feel that way. The another reason is I started to get serious but still have not fully get away from the extremely stupid thought that had been bothering me for months. I am just pathetic…

I am just too sensitive, even an insignificant incident can trigger my nerve and made me highly alert, thinking of the possible consequences or reasons that cause this. Is it really because I am too sensitive or I just cannot believe in anyone, not even myself? I made the choice and I still doubt whether it is a right choice. I just can’t be 100% sure, never once in my life. I only know that there are 2 distances that need me to overcome, a real distance and a virtual one. (Kambateh, Sophia! =P)

There is another thing that bothers me. Should I join the class trip??? I wanted to join but they will be going to Pulau Paya for snorkeling which I do not feel like going due to some reasons. If I go for the trip and do not join them for the snorkeling part, I may be left alone on Pulau Langkawi. If I do not go for the trip, then I will have no more chance to join them and I had already promised Nich that I will go. Gosh, how am I going to decide???!!!

Anyway, A2 final is finally here. I hope I can finish all the PYQs on time. I am still kinda blur with my FM Mechanics and Geometric Distribution. If I still can’t overcome all these problems, I will need to say Bye Bye to more than 40 marks. OMG… So, must really study hard this time. Can’t slack too much, been telling myself this but I do not think that I studied much these few days. At least, I did not touch my chemistry and physics PYQ these 2 weeks. =P

Good luck to every A-Levels student who will be sitting for exam starting from 13th of May until 12th of June. I wonder how Cambridge arranges the time table… My paper starts on 18th of May and ends on 8th of June, but only 7 days in that period of time are occupied with exams, and yet, they need to put Chem Paper 4 and Phy Paper 4 on the same day. Whatever, I can’t change it, so I can just take it. GOOD LUCK and ALL THE BEST!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!! =P

Wishes every mother HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

Hope every mom stay healthy, pretty and happy!!!

I (LOVE YOU)x1000000000000 MUMMY!!!

Me and Mum

Mummy and Daddy (Daddy tried to make mum looks taller, how considerate... ^^")

It is also me n MH’s 100^th day anniversary too. Time really flies le… Dear, Love you too!!! Just that I love my mom more… =P It’s diff though.

Kings, Queens and Slaves

When you are rich, you can buy everything, including people’s heart.

But, When you have nothing in your pocket, you are nothing?

You may be the king or queen when you are rich but you will have to wear a mask every day, looking for ways to maintain your ‘power’. But I really wonder who will actually respect you from the bottom of their heart. Yea, maybe there are some people who really feel that you are their god and cannot live a day without you but the rest of your ‘slaves’ are just putting on their own mask in front of you.

Speaking of ‘slaves’, you will need to accept a lot of criticism from people around you, who thinks that they are some super close friends with the king and queen. Their criticism may be true and sincere, but most of them were just crap and rubbish. They do not actually process their words with brain before saying it out loud. Can all these people think before they speak? At least learn how to respect others, even if they are not as ‘sacred’ as your king and queen.

The world is just so cruel that the opinions and suggestions of slaves do not worth even a penny. A word to the kings and queens: Do not ask for others’ opinion when you are not going to consider what they suggested. ‘Cos it really hurts. Slaves have feelings too…

I’ve met a lot of kings and queens before, they might not treat you as a slave in front of people, but you are definitely their slave when they do not need your help to show how popular they are. Kings and queens may always show how much they have done for others but who knows how many % of their ‘effort’ origin from their sincere heart, if they have one…

I may be fake in some circumstances but I am pretty confident that I am far from being a queen. Maybe someone will be objecting this statement, but who cares? I am sure that I am almost immune with all these crap that have been bombarding me for years, continuously.

--You may not be important in king’s and queen’s eye, but you are important to someone that knows how to appreciate you. This is more than enough. - -